GOSPEL MESSAGE & RECORDING
In the Pauline epistle today, we hear the words of the Apostle Paul when he speaks about his friendship with his companions: “I am glad about the coming of Stephanas, Fortunatus, and Achaicus, for what was lacking on your part they supplied. For they “refreshed” my spirit and yours.” (1 Cor. 16:17-18) In Paul’s letter to Timothy (1 Tim. 1:16) he makes mention of Onesiphorus and how he often “refreshed” him. The word “refreshed” is used on both occasions. It means to live again. It also means to make something better or to make it like what it was before. We may have heard it used in the context of drinking a glass of water: “Could you please refresh my drink?” It means to make it new or refill it with juice, soda or ice. After taking a shower, we might say: “I feel refreshed.” This means that we feel rejuvenated. So, here, we can say that the friends/companions that Paul mentions made him feel “alive” again and rejuvenated. This is how we as Christians in the Church, particularly in the parish, should behave toward each other. We should be refreshing to each other.
One of the major obstacles to being a person that is refreshing that I see that we as a Church and parish are facing is the behavior of being overly critical.
In today’s society especially in our country we have become overly critical of everything. And this has made its way into our parishes. The dictionary definition for being critical is this: inclined to find fault or to judge with severity, often readily. Being critical is a part of our human tendency to make things better, to right the wrong, to point out the flaws, to make corrections, etc. It’s necessary! But it must be used in the right context. I firmly believe that there are issues that our Church and country are facing that deserve a critical view, a critical eye, a critical opinion, a critical voice; and such instances have it’s time and place for us to get critically involved. That said, being critical should not be a consistent and active practice in our lives where it hinders us from enjoying life. We should not allow it to take over so that we don’t have a sense of love and forgiveness toward others.
Here are a few examples:
Overly critical about our parish: there is a lot that is not perfect about our parish. That said, that is the case with every parish. No pastor is perfect. And no parish is perfect. No community is perfect. We make mistakes. We should be forgiving toward each other. Again, we should be critical when necessary; but more so, we should see the assignment that God has given to us in the parish and make every effort to bring peace.
See the beauty of the worship for what it is. It may not be ideal but nothing that we encounter in life is ideal.
We can find faults with many things. But if we are constantly finding ourselves to be bored, disinterested, or aren’t getting anything out of Qurbana, then it is probably high-time that we do a self-examination of our own spiritual life. It might be an occasion that warrants a critical approach to our own life.
Overly critical about our family: the family the Lord has assigned for us is there for our spiritual growth. Again, we have to be critical in some circumstances toward our spouse and even children. Overall, in the general sense, we have a responsibility to work with our spouse and children to find amicable solutions. There must be a compromise. An over critical attitude attempts to find the problems but not the solutions. Such an attitude aims at bringing the spouse or children down and not building them up. It is vitally important for us to examine ourselves and to see if we are a critical spouse.
Overly critical of others in general: St. Joseph the Hesychast said, “My child, the person who does not criticize his brothers, is the mark of a saved person.” We often tend to be critical of others because we don’t see them for who they are, but rather, for what we want them to be. And often what we want them to be is a flawed version of ourselves.
We should learn to respect everyone’s individualism and uniqueness. There are weaknesses and shortcomings that we all have, so we should be willing to accommodate for that.