GOSPEL MESSAGE & RECORDING
My experience in what I have heard and learned throughout my childhood into my adulthood in the Orthodox church has always been that as Christians must give to others in various ways such as, pray for others, be sacrificial toward others in our community, be sacrificial in our marriage, give money to others, etc. You get the point! The idea is to think of “me” or “I” less and think of “others” more. There is seldom a focus on “self-care.” The practice of thinking of one self and caring for one self is lost in the life of the church. The fault lies with the laity and clergy. The Church has always emphasized a balance of “self-care” and “helping others.”
Seldom do we think about what we need to do for ourselves so that we are mentally and physically well enough to give to others. Ultimately, giving to others in different capacities is central to Christian living, otherwise life becomes all about us and a selfish endeavor. But taking care of ourselves is not a worldly teaching but one that our Lord taught in the Gospels, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” St. Paul also teaches us to “love our wives as ourselves.” So then how do we take care of ourselves? Let me explain by way of a few points.
What does it mean to love yourself? In my opinion loving yourself is the same as taking care of yourself. Loving yourselves means that you believe wholeheartedly that you are created by God for a purpose and reason. The undoubted reason being that we live to glorify God. Loving ourselves essentially means that we love Jesus Christ. Because the Apostle Paul teaches that Christ lives in us. And if he lives in us then we must love ourselves. Do we love ourselves? We love our wives, our children, our parents, our spouses, our best friends? In a way that sounds selfish, but it’s not. It doesn’t mean we live for ourselves; rather, we live for Christ through loving ourselves. In turn, we give that love that we have in us to others. Jesus said, “let your light shine among people.” If we want our love to shine, then we have to keep the light burning by taking care of ourselves.
You come first! Let me explain. After we board a plane and before we take off for flight, we have to go through some exercises in case the plane faces any trouble. One of the exercises is to put the oxygen mask on our own face before we put it on our child’s. At first, this sounds wrong. We want our child to get oxygen first. But there is a greater principle at work that we may not understand, and that is that if we don’t put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, we might not be alive to put it on our child. The emphasis is clear: take care of yourself so that you can take care of your child. We should apply this principle in our lives. Here is how:
Children - we have to take care of ourselves if we want to be effective and the best for our children. That means, eating well and exercising. This also means not putting the needs of the children first all the time. There has to be a give and take. The children’s needs are important but so are yours.
Spouse - we are taught that the order of love is God, spouse, children, parents and siblings. This is true in my opinion. But we have to find “room” for ourselves. That “room” allows us to recharge, to forgive and to move on.
Work - money is necessary; otherwise, Jesus wouldn’t talk about it so much. But money isn’t everything. So, we might want to pursue the best job with the best pay in order to provide our families with the best. However, that might be too much for our mind and body because of the requirements, in terms of time and capacity that “higher-up” jobs demand. The better thing to do is find a manageable job with lesser pay and live within those means with your family. Of course, you will have to cut down on the spending, but in the end, you will be happier, and in turn your family will be happier.
Ministry - most of us are involved in ministry. That’s a good thing! But even in ministry we have to think of ourselves before we think of others. If we as priests, deacons, bishops and lay leaders run ourselves down for the Lord, we are no good for the Kingdom of God in the long term. Mentally and physically, we won’t last. So, the better option is to do the ministry that God has called you to do, but as you do it, don’t forget to practice self-care.